Tomorrow
by Rat
Summary: Ana& Jack Three introspective chapters on the nature of Jack and Ana Maria's relationship.
1. Tomorrow

_Tomorrow___

Sometimes life doesn't make sense.  There are times it does, times you look out onto the water and think; this is where I am meant to be.  This time Ana looked out at the vast expanse of waves and sky, and she thought, what is the meaning of all this?

Jack lounged on the forecastle deck using a large heap of rope as a cushion.  He went through the trouble of arranging it and he seemed to find a comfortable position, because in the last few hours Ana witnessed him move only twice.

Once, was to get his self a bottle of rum. The second was to get his self another bottle of rum.  Even for Jack, the amount was excessive.  

She was just about to mention it to him when she realized something else.  When did she appoint herself his keeper?  When did it happen that she turned from a friend to a … a nanny?  They were friends before they were lovers, and as his friend, she considered him an idiot sometimes, but she never tried to change him.  Since the growth of their relationship from friends to lovers, she began to notice a distinct change in her own self, and she didn't like it one bit.

Jack never changed.  In all the years she knew him, one thing could be counted on, Jack would be Jack.  Ana Maria on the other hand, felt like she existed in a constant state of flux.  Each day she brought into herself new experiences and new ideas, and how could she help but make them a part of herself?  

Since finding love, Ana learned how to fear.  Every time Jack left the ship without her, every time the Pearl took on a new plunder, a heavy knot of dread deposited itself right on top of her heart.  She knew Jack took risks, he would go to great lengths to ensure the safety of someone else, but when it came to Jack taking care of Jack, he wasn't so attentive.  The day would come when he'd get himself into something more than he could handle, and what then?  Did it occur to him that he was not the only one at stake?  Did it occur to him how much the thought of losing him scared her?  

No, he wouldn't think of any of those things, because he's Jack.  Captain Jack Sparrow, scourge of the Caribbean.  Therefore, if Jack would not take care of himself, Ana would do it for him.  That was what she did now.  

And it had to stop.  Ana was never meant to be a mother; especially to her forty year old pirate lover.  

It would stop today.  She glanced at Jack one more time, the second bottle of rum nearly emptied within only a couple hours span, and she reined in the urge to be at his side.  She would not ask him what was wrong.  She would not insist on him telling her his troubles.  If he wanted to talk, he could damn well come to her and ask her to listen!  

Yes.  That was exactly what she planned to do.  

Tomorrow.  

****

****


	2. Today

**Sequel to Tomorrow… (Today)  jacks view.  **

Most days he prefers to be on deck, even in storms he prefers to stand at the helm guiding the Pearl through the waves.  

On bad days, he stays in his cabin.  Even on bad days, he can still hide the demons in his head from the others with the guise of having work to do.  He tells them that he has 'Nautical Things' to take care of, hence do not disturb.  He sits alone at his oak table with the map spread out in front of him and he stares at the places he's been, and all the places he hasn't and most likely never will be.  

On the worst of days, hiding isn't possible.  Alone in his cabin he feels suffocated, he feels like a spring wound to its breaking point, and yet he has no idea how to get free.  He needs the rum.  Most days he drinks it for pleasure and habit, these times he drinks for escape.  

Memory haunts him in horrid detail.  Like looking at his self through another persons eyes, but what he sees is rotten.  The bad times, the mistakes, and the failures stand out clear as day.  There are a lot of them.  It is hard at these times to think straight.  

There are too many warring thoughts in his head.  They mimic the voices of his friends, and he can't ignore them.  You are nothing, they tell him.  You will never be anything more than nothing.  You do not deserve good things.  Don't even try.  

The rum helps, but it takes a lot.  He can't be alone in his cabin when this happens, he's afraid of what he might do if he's alone.  Up on deck, he knows he'll do nothing to arouse suspicion.  He sits, stares out at the endless sea, and he drinks himself unconscious.  

He knows this too will pass.   


	3. Forever

**_Forever_**

She couldn't just leave him like that.  As much as she told her self to give him space, she knew deep down in her heart that space would not fix Jack's problems.  All the same, she didn't fool her self into thinking that she could fix his problems either.  

Therefore, instead of talking, or demanding, she simply sat down beside him.  At first, he didn't acknowledge her; she knew he was waiting for her to make the first more.  Waiting for her to tell him to stop drinking, waiting for her to tell him what to do.  She didn't say a word.  Not yet.  She remained silent until she felt him shift beside her; she waited until she knew she had his full attention.  

"What do you want?"  He spoke first.  

"Do remember the island with the waterfall."  

"What about it?"

Knowing she threw him off balance with her question, she felt ready to continue.  "Remember how it felt?  The spray of the mist, how cool it was compared to the heat in the air?"

After a few moments of contemplation, he finally looked at her.  "I remember."  

She smiled, but made no other move.  Yet.  "I liked it there.  It was just after we sacked Port Andrew of her new shipment of spice and silk.  Remember that?  Do you think they've noticed it missing yet?"

This time he smiled with her.  "Not that I've heard."  

So far, the events she mentioned happened before their relationship took a turn for the intimate.  She tried to think of something more recent, something that they shared between only themselves.  It wasn't a difficult task.  This time she reached out to him, she took his hand and trailed her fingertips gently across his calloused skin.  Her own hands, she knew, were equally rough.  Jack accepted her for who she was, and she cherished him for that.  He didn't need a woman to be weak, or dependant, or subservient, the way she knew other men did.  She didn't need soft smooth hands in order to excite him; he didn't need to over power her to prove his strength.  

Slowly, she leaned closer to him so that her lips barely brushed against his ear.  "I love you."

The words were no more than a breath.  

She felt him respond.  She understood now what Jack needed, and what he did not need.  

He did not need a mother, or a caregiver.  He did not need someone to take care of him as though he could not take care of his self.  

Jack needed her.  He needed her love.  And for Ana, that was exactly what she needed to give.  


End file.
